Making a mountain out of a molehill

It's an old saying that I've heard over the years. I didn't really know what it meant until I met The One at my job.

Let us start with the molehill. The One decided to have a spontaneous barbeque since moving into his younger sister's home. Yes I said younger and I said sister. Well that's ok if your a teen or even early 20's but I'm talking about 47! Well that's another blog to write about.

Anyhow moving back to this shindig. He decided to plan it out 4 weeks in advanced at this home. There was already a gas grill and only things truly needed are beverages and of course the food. Since The One attended several of my gatherings, he wanted some advice and I was willing to offer.

First question - How many guests? He figured over 40 which as most may know, not all will attend but somehow he thought so.

Second question - What's the budget? This is of course a very critical question. It will coincide with what's on the menu. The One's budget? $150. Now let's think about that. Beverages and ice will run close to $50 then there's utensils such as napkins, forks and knives, paper plates. Well that is easily another $20 and I'm talking buying it at the 99 cent store. Now that leaves $80 for food. The One wanted to grill some shrimp, actually larger prawns. To feed even 20 people that would definitely eat up the budget. I suggested some Korean BBQ ribs which is a Southern Californian favorite. That alone will cost $40 to $50 depending on weight. So you can see the budget has almost ran out.

Now here's the mountain part. When The One doesn't feel totally comfortable with things he'll act like a starving puppy so others can help save him. His sister decided to help with the food preparation. Here's an exerpt.

Now the simple BBQ has become a catered event. He called it "Friendship Cultivation." It sounded like I was going to meet Jim Jones and be forced to drink some punch.

Here's the PARTIAL menu copied exactly as given to me:

Crispy Shrimp Wontons with Sweet and Spicy Sauce
Crispy Cream Cheese Wontons
Bruschetta
Roasted Asparagus
Grilled Chicken Wings with Mango-Tamarind Sauce
Grilled Flank Steak in Lettuce Wrap
Grilled Chili Lime Shrimp on Skewer
BBQ Shrimp on Skewer
Stir-fry Noodles with Tofu and Shitake Mushrooms
Lychee Iced Tea

Who eats bruschetta at a bbq? Even at a picnic you don't. The only thing actually planned to be cooked onsite was the shrimp.

Due to feeling that people would be overly crowded at his place, he changed the venue to a nearby park. It's a free facility but first come first served. It was comical to me that he brought three other coworkers to survey the area during a lunch break and even snapped some pictures.

I won't go to much further on this blog except to say that 40 people did not come. It was closer to 12 so there was plenty extra food.

I ask you if you think that's a mountain or a molehill?

Sorry to Burst Your Bubble

Ever notice certain people around you in a bubble? This shell that they just think certain things especially about themselves are spectacular. To others it's more of a fairy tale.

I know of several people in this proverbial bubble. One commonality is they all think they are perfect and need zero improvement. Hard to believe that's true isn't it? One person is Mr. Soy Sauce. The One is another. I can go on and on.

Since I've already mentioned two of them in my past blogs, I'll move to another coworker who I call The Buttman. I didn't come up with the name because he has a nice butt or likes butts. He had hemorrhoids and complications from surgery. He told everyone within arms reach in full graphic details for about a year how painful it was for him to have a bowel movement. So that is how I came up with The Buttman. I had considered "Full of Crap Man." Even though it's a more truthful description it doesn't fall off the tongue as easily.

Buttman is a contradiction of a hard worker. Most of the day he's not as his desk and I haven't figured out what he's doing. While he's at his desk, I'm still trying to figure that out. I hear him on the phone talking about his likes and dislikes or some subject about himself. Now we are supposed to help people with computer problems. I'm thinking Buttman believes he's a patient in a psychiatrist office laying on a sofa telling about his issues instead. When I do finally hear about business, he tells users that he has confirmed there is an issue and the different possible sources of the problem in which 99 percent of which "spyware" is the cause. If it doesn't turn on....spyware. You spilled water on your laptop...spyware. A tornado ripped the roof from your house and swept the computer into its clutches... it's spyware! Imagine you go to a doctor and in that waiting room you have people who have the swine flu, brokens limbs, or bleeding. Then you hear that same doctor say "Just take a aspirin." Well that's the kinda things you would hear from Buttman.

This is just the tip of the iceberg. I can keep going on with true stories but I wouldn't be writing a blog. It would be more like a novel 1000 pages thick.

So should I get a needle and burst that bubble?

Going in Circles

Do you ever feel like you are going in circles? I don't mean literally but figuratively. I get like that daily at work. Most of the time I get this from my superior. You may know him from my "Can you say soy sauce?" blog. Let's call him Mr. Coconut. Well Mr. Coconut just can't communicate as proven in my first blog.

As human beings we have a few ways we can reach out on what we want. The biggest way is speaking. Well that's a big fail for Coconut. Let's see, writing is definitely another way to communicate. That's what I am doing now to communicate with you. Well another big fail with Coconut. I've had the longest instant message dialogues just about something that should have been one line of text.

I think you can sense my frustrations. I haven't even discussed about the other coworkers. Well I did a little about "THE ONE" in my 2nd blog. So where do I go from here? Well I decided to blog to help vent my feelings. I created the Fly-Ly blog to share to the world that things you see on Seinfeld actually can and do happen in real life. Maybe not your life but mine. If I didn't blog, I think you would see me on the news about a crazed employee going postal on his boss. We all have to do something to relax and vent. I think I'll get a punching bag and paste Mr. Coconut's mug on it to help squeeze out the last of my frustrations for the day. Gonna figuratively crack open a coconut. After all it's better to be happy than to keep all that negativity inside.

Let us all try to straighten out these curves so we stop going in circles.

Fly ly....don't you mean fried rice?

When I tell people I like fly ly [sounds like lie], I get the strangest look.

Seeing their expression, you can see them asking themselves if it's some sort of delicacy or a foreign word hoping it doesn't mean dog meat or roasted grasshoppers.

Once they give up and ask me what on earth am I talking about, I divulge it's the ever so popular fried rice dish that's been a staple of the Chinese for thousands of years and known in the USA for decades. "Fly ly" is the way many of the world's largest ethnic group pronounce this dish.

What's so good about fly ly? Well you can eat it as a side dish or a main course. It's lunch or dinner and even a late night snack. It's easy to eat as long as you're not using chopsticks. You can have beef, pork, or shrimp added. Heck you can have all three if you want!

Add some soy sauce to it and maybe a dash of Spiracha hot sauce and OMG you're in heaven. Whichever heaven you believe in, it's all bliss when you're eating fly ly.

Whether you're poor or rich you can enjoy fly ly. You can cook it up yourself too with some basic ingredients. It's not as flashy as cooking on a wok but hey fly ly in any form is good.

I love fly ly!

Not everyone thinks a day is a day

Yes folks it's true!

Now you're probably thinking "What is this guy talking about?" A day is 24 hours of the same calendar day or it's a school day when you start and when you leave campus that ends your day. Or it's the time you start work then when you leave that is a day.

Yes there are work times that can overlap past midnight. You could in fact work a 3rd shift from 9pm to 6am which obviously crosses over 2 calendar days but it's still considered 1 work day. You wouldn't call in sick and expect 2 days worth of work docked from your paycheck would you? Now I do know you wish you can get paid as 2 days instead of 1.

That's what I thought until I met him. Who is he? One of my coworkers. You ever watch 'The Matrix Reloaded" when Neo was speaking with the Architect in the room full of screens? He thought of a bunch possibilities and his images was thinking and yelling at each other? Well that's him.

I wish I knew a million or more people so I am able to survey each user but I have been around for some time and out of the thousands of people I've met, I actually encountered one person that thinks a day isn't a day.

I found THE ONE!

He thinks a day isn't really a day. How did this discussion come about? Well in conversation I spoke about him completing a task in "one day". He said he could easily finish this task in a day without question. Now this is a work day not a full calendar day. I mean if he wants to spend 24 hours on doing this task, more power to him. But I don't think many of us will take on a task like that when you usually work 8 hours.

Okay thanks for hanging in there cause here comes the good part!

He works daily Monday through Friday from 8am to 5pm with a 1 hour lunch. Sorry for all the numbers but it's a necessary point. He decided to start at 10am. Well 5pm comes along and he's not complete. That's 6 hours not counting the 1 hour lunch.

The next morning he comes in and I ask what was the status of the task. He proceeds to tell me since he worked on it for 6 hours and a work day consists of 8 hours he has 2 hours left on his "work day" clock.

Now this job of hours involves us to multitask. We're not a train on a track that can only go straight and cannot deviate from the rails. Think of our job as us being an octopus in an ocean swimming and using each tentacle to feel out different things at the same time. My point is we have many hats and just don't stand there and wear one single hat. We'll except for this guy.

I stood there confused thinking back about my life. I could have postponed of all my job tasks, school homework, or anything that had a date. Using his clock I could have said since I worked X amount of hours but did not complete what a "day" is I could carry it over to the next. Wow! I sure missed out.

Ok so the moral of the story is don't assume everybody is on the same page.

Because THE ONE will prove you wrong!

Can you say "soy sauce"?

We are in the United States and are composed of different minorities. Of course some people will have accents. Even people who speak English have accents. Look at those people from the south or those guys from the east when they say "caah" which many others say "car."

Well I work with a set of strange people. One of them can't say "soy sauce." Well that's not the only thing he can't pronounce correctly but it's probably one of the most simple words that can be said besides "yes" and "no" and of course "hi."

You're probably asking why I'm harping on this guy and soy sauce? Well let me go on.

Now I'm not prejudice and in fact I'm Asian so I can make fun of other Asians like how black people call each other "nigga."

Okay going back on track with this soy sauce thing. I've personally witnessed this guy ask for the said soy sauce and every time with a blank stare you see them asking "What?" or "Huh?" Please note since soy sauce is predominantly an Asian seasoning and used in Asian restaurants, most of the time the employees happen to be of Asian descent as well.

Most people pronounce it like "so ee sos." When he says it (quickly at that) it comes out like "so sus." After several tries of him trying to communicate these 2 syllables I finally stepped in and ask for this so much desired salty seasoning. You can imagine their expression of relief on their face after probably wondering to themselves if they were in a daze or just not there when this guy asked for something commonly requested. I think only water is ranked number one as the most requested item then comes soy sauce. If we were not in a Asian restaurant I would say ketchup would be number two.

Here's the clutcher: He told me he had gone to the restaurant and asked for the the sauce and they gave him sweet n sour sauce. He told me with a straight face that they didn't hear him correctly. Now I had witnessed first hand that it wasn't the case. I had to bite my tongue in order to stop from bursting in laughter.

Now it's present time, well just a few days ago. I accompany him to a restaurant and again the request comes from him. After 4 times hearing "so sus" and "what?" I finally hear the server say "hot sauce?" I came to the rescue to stop this crazed conversation.

So my question to you is Can you say "soy sauce?"